Have you ever had the feeling that you are living the same script over and over again? Does it seem like no matter what you do, you always run into the same problem? Maybe it’s a boss who always gives you a hard time, so you find a new job only to find the same problems you were having with your old boss are the same problems you’re having with your new boss.
In your head, you are probably thinking, “Why does this keep happening to me?” You are probably thinking it’s everyone else who has the problem and not you.
The truth is, it is you. When you look at the situation, the common denominator is you. The reason you are constantly reliving the same script over and over again, with different people, is because there is a lesson that you need to learn but refuse to see or admit.
Maybe you need to stop being passive aggressive about your needs. Maybe you need to stand up for yourself more. Maybe you need to voice your opinions and stop bring a team player. Until you confront the issue, you will continue to relive the problem over and over again. It won’t matter if you change jobs or get a new boss because until you deal with the real issue, within yourself, you will continue to face the same problem over and over again. Same script, different cast.
For some reason, people have been taught saying no is impolite and makes them a bad person. Some feel guilt or shame when they tell others no, even when it’s something they really didn’t want to do. Others will try to explain themselves to make it seem more polite.
Truth is, there is nothing wrong or impolite about saying no. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be a team player or the third wheel. People should not feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with someone they really don’t like or go somewhere that does not interest them.
When you learn to say no, to the things you don’t want to do, you start saying yes to things you love to do. You are more conscious of how you spend your time and energy. You focus more on what makes you happy and you enjoy. You start to enjoy life more.
Don’t get me wrong, we all do things to please others at some time in our life but our life should not be about just pleasing others. We have to stop saying yes because we are afraid someone’s feelings will be hurt. You have the right to say no without giving an excuse or feeling guilty. It’s your life and you decided and with whom you want to spend your time. No explanation needed.